"Everything is fine and the war is still definitely going great", said chief Pentagon spokesman Enron Hubbard, speaking from his bunker deep in the heart of the Walt Disney Detention Centre in the north of Bagdhad yesterday, "even though it has been over for a year now and we won."
     Wearing a Napolean hat, and drawing a diagram with his toe in a sand tray he explained; "Ever since we redesigned the Iraqi flag, with it's horrid clashing colours, everyone here loves us, and I'm told that outside of this secure compound, the streets of Bagdhad are today echoing with the sound of happy Iraqi children eagerly anticipating the arrival of McDonald's, WWF wrestling, MTV, Internet Porn, electricity, food and water".

Unpromted, he continued; "Sure that crazy guy we put in to sort out the mess in Fallujah looks a little bit like Saddam, but what the hell? In the battle to separate hearts from minds, anything goes, and the simple fact is that these people much prefer to be pushed around by a moustachioed fat Iraqi, than a short-haired asshole from an Indiana trailer-park. Astonishingly, there is still a small minority of Iraqis who remain unconvinced, despite the evidence, that they have been liberated. You can rest assured that we will continue our policy of dropping bombs on them until they are. These misguided people are merely the last tattered remnants of Saddam's Baathist Republican Guards, or Communists, or those other guys who don't like us."