SUSSEX POLICE SUE EACH OTHER TO BITS



ARMED POLICE, WHOM WE CANNOT IDENTIFY FOR LEGAL REASONS,
GUARDING A CHARITY SHOP IN HASTINGS TOWN CENTRE.
STUPID CONSTABLES

Police officers involved in the local shooting of a naked man were today preparing to sue Sussex Constabulary for "gross incompetence", a spokesman for the solicitors Arloe Arloe & Arloe, acting for the plaintiffs, told the Lyer today. As we spoke in the saloon bar of the Wig & Nightgown, he went on; 'It's criminal. There is no other way of describing it. What kind of a responsible police force would send incompetent, trigger-happy wankers like my clients into any dangerous situation, let alone one alleged to involve a naked man suspected of concealing a gun about his person?'
COCK & BULLET STORY

He continued; 'I would also like to take this opportunity to put an end to the malicious flim-flam currently circulating about one of the plaintiffs, namely my client PC Alec Pacino. There is absolutely no truth in the rumour that he said to the alleged victim "Is that a penis attached to your body or are you just displeased to see me?" just before firing six rounds from a police-issue automatic into his nude body from close range.'

©2004 • guano associated press